God's Word: "Deny!"

It seems the Almighty has become bored with the grand scheme and is once again dishing out advice on business matters to His devoted prophets.

Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, says God is speaking again, telling him to deny lurid allegations in a lawsuit.

Yup, the Supreme Creator can't let a 44 year old college get embroiled in a legal scandal that could threaten to expose it's saintly President as a corrupt scoundrel so He's taken on the case personally. Although, His Holiness may not be entirely clean in the matters Himself as he has a history of financial interests in Oral Robert's University in which He threatened Oral himself that he would "Meet his maker" if he didn't round up $8 million dollars and establish this college in his name. Fortunately Robert's followers managed to scrounge up the payoff and saved Mr. Robert's from the crushing grip of God's henchman, a 900 foot tall Jesus.

Most importantly though, we can all rest assured that this institution of "Higher" learning is in God's hands.