Carbon Emissions - Dangerous or Not?

The latest crazy person to claim carbon emissions aren't dangerous is Mitt Romney:

"I don’t think carbon is a pollutant in the sense of harming our bodies."

He continued to say "we can agree to disagree..."

Um, no, we can't. Well, I guess he can agree to disagree with himself.

But, to end the debate I propose an easy experiment anyone who doubts the dangers of carbon emissions can do at home: Find the nearest tailpipe and use it like a breathing tube for a few minutes. If after about five minutes you still think carbon emissions aren't harmful I'll let it rest and "agree to disagree".

Tastes like freedom!

God's Word: "Deny!"

It seems the Almighty has become bored with the grand scheme and is once again dishing out advice on business matters to His devoted prophets.

Oral Roberts University President Richard Roberts, says God is speaking again, telling him to deny lurid allegations in a lawsuit.

Yup, the Supreme Creator can't let a 44 year old college get embroiled in a legal scandal that could threaten to expose it's saintly President as a corrupt scoundrel so He's taken on the case personally. Although, His Holiness may not be entirely clean in the matters Himself as he has a history of financial interests in Oral Robert's University in which He threatened Oral himself that he would "Meet his maker" if he didn't round up $8 million dollars and establish this college in his name. Fortunately Robert's followers managed to scrounge up the payoff and saved Mr. Robert's from the crushing grip of God's henchman, a 900 foot tall Jesus.

Most importantly though, we can all rest assured that this institution of "Higher" learning is in God's hands.

Media Ignores Victories Against Terrorism.

How is it that in the past ten years over 60 terrorist plots have been foiled and yet not one major TV news station or print newspaper has mentioned this? It's not like they are afraid of sensationalism and putting the fear of imminent death into their viewers - I mean, it's great for ratings. But with all this talk on the Global War on Terror it is really shameful how our media refuses to point out the achievements our country has had in fighting these freedom-hating religious zealots and extremists. Here's a brief rundown of the evil that the liberal media refuses to make a stand against:

In the 10 years since the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing killed 168 people, roughly 60 right-wing terrorist plots have been uncovered in the United States. The plots, all foiled by law enforcement, reportedly included violent plans by antigovernment militia groups, racist skinhead organizations, and Ku Klux Klan members to use various types of chemical bombs and other weapons.

and...

On Sept. 11, 2006, the fifth anniversary of the terror attacks that devastated our nation, a man crashed his car into a building in Davenport, Iowa, hoping to blow it up and kill himself in the fire.

"I am a terrorist," Waagner declared on the Army of God's web site.

I say it's time for the media to stop ignoring these threats to America's security. If these people looked like this you can be sure the press would be all over it!

The Tyranny of Feminism!

A new breed of revolutionary is here and they are breaking down barriers, shattering that glass ceiling and finally giving a voice to the oppressed men of this nation.

• Matt Dubay is a strong man who is proudly taking a stand against his newborn son's oppressive demands for child support. This child and it's cold-hearted mother have used the liberal courts to steal $500 a month from Mr. Dubay - money that could be used in his noble quest to hook up at the local bar. Fortunately for men everywhere he is not giving in and is bravely taking on these socialist oppressors in the fight for the right to ignore his responsibilities.

• In a similar case, Senator Bill Napoli of North Dakota has made a bold statement against the special rights women seem to feel they are entitled to. In backing a statewide ban on abortion Mr. Napoli has stopped women from being able to neglect their obligations and unlike so many lawmakers with less cahones, Mr. Napoli won't take any lame excuses. There is no way for any woman to swindle her way out of her responsibilities unless she is "brutally raped, savaged... The girl was a virgin, she was religious, she planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated." No weak excuse of just being raped and sodomized - she must also be brutalized and a god-fearing virgin! Take that all you weak-kneed skanks! Mr. Napoli also proudly states that he wants to get back to traditional values like we had back in the "Old West", back in the days when a woman was kept in her proper place, men could rape and sodomize her then apparently was forced to marry her by the community. Keep on fighting the good fight, brother.
Crooks & Liars has the video

• Finally, Doug Anglin, a 17-year-old senior in high school is taking on those Massachusetts liberals in an all out war against his civil rights. It seems this blue-state is unfairly granting more girls to their honor roll than boys. ''The system is designed to the disadvantage of males," Anglin said. ''From the elementary level, they establish a philosophy that if you sit down, follow orders, and listen to what they say, you'll do well and get good grades. Men naturally rebel against this." We stand behind you Mr. Anglin in your quest for acceptance in this world being over-run by feminists and sissy-boys who insist on following the rules and doing schoolwork as some kind of "requirement" for academic achievement. Their elitist ways are a disgrace to our nation founded on the individuals right to success without effort. If we've learned anything these past five years under our Commander and Chief it is that effort and understanding should be punished and being rich and connected is what really matters in this world.
Check out the Curmudgeon Bastard's wise analysis of the story.

Terrorists Destroy Christmas!!!

In a recent Pentagon briefing written by Brit Hume the U.S. has announced a new front in the "War on Terror." The new threat is more frightening than anything we have ever seen because this time the enemy is within and its presence is huge. They have infiltrated every aspect of American life and now they have finally devised the most vicious assault on Western Civilization we have seen since Satan first fell from heaven.

Their plan is quite simple really; they are attacking America at its core by taking the Christ out of Christmas!!!

You see, by taking the "Christ" out of "Christmas" they are taking the "Consume" out "Consumerism" and thus the "Free" out of "Freedom." Once they have managed to do this, Americans nationwide will be helplessly stricken with "Bah-Hum-Bug" fever and unable to flock out to Wal-Mart and buy their loved ones the new "Homedics Pedicure Jet Action Footbath" or "Personalized Fashion Photo Tie" thus creating a staggering seasonal income shortage for manufacturers and retailers. Amidst all this chaos the loss of Christmas Spirit will set off a manic wave of depression through the hearts and souls of Americans everywhere leading to the final plan of attack. The most fiendish and demented part of the operation is the Comedy Central "Holiday Spectacular" where every man woman and child will be subjected to the secular diatribe of liberal terrorist Al Franken's stand up comedy resulting in catastrophic boredom and even possible mass suicides. With America's spirit broken it will only be a matter of days before these terrorists can topple our government and destroy civilization.

Fortunately we have discovered this fiendish plot and are taking the necessary steps to dismantle their network, capture - or kill if needed - all operatives and restore peace and tranquility to our nation. So, please do your part as Americans and remember to say merry Christmas to everyone you see on the street, everyone at your place of work and everyone you go to school with. And if any of them make any mention of not believing in Jesus or celebrating the Christmas holiday you should immediately report these terrorists to your local police who are in direct communication with Homeland Security. We must be vigilant and protect our nation from the terrorists who wish to turn America into a place with no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between Church and State. We cannot let this happen, otherwise the terrorists have won.

As a great man once said, "We have nothing to fear but God himself!"

I pray for you all.

Just like "Us"

The institutions of marriage, faith and celebrity have never looked better... It feels so good to know that folks like Tom Cruise, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and other wonderful examples of humanity are just like "us" - makes everything seem right in the world.

Infallible Diva

The Pope Wears Prada?

"He may never make the best-dressed lists, but Pope Benedict XVI is nothing short of a religious-fashion icon, riding in the Popemobile with red Prada loafers under his cassock and Gucci shades."

Say what you will about a religion that doesn't want women or homos to be their club leaders yet thinks a former Nazi has the credentials needed to be an infallible spiritual middleman to God himself, but this thing about wearing designer duds is just plain loony. Not that there is anything wrong with a full grown man drenched in gold and glittering sequins with red little shoes and gaudy sunglasses, parading about in a "Popemobile." But for a religion that preaches humility it is teetering on the verge of hypocrisy if you ask me. I'm not an expert on the bible but I don't think Jesus pranced around in ruby slippers and got prissy when his tailors cut his robe a bit shorter than he preferred. And while supporting local merchants is respectable, Mr. Benedict may want to reconsider his choices. Can you find more of a fashion whore than Gucci? These are the classy folks who stick their "G" logo on everything from dog dishes to i-Pod cases.

It all reminds me of my first visit to the venerable St. Patrick's Cathedral in NYC. Upon entering this majestic temple of worship, Christ's eager pilgrims are treated to a cute little gift-shop hawking $2,000 jeweled rosaries and other such lavish prayer devices. I guess God will listen more intently if you rub your fingers elegantly upon shiny diamonds than if you just smear your filthy mitts on plastic beads. It's so amazing how these people don't even pretend to have read the Bible and yet have such a devoted following.

Normally, I don't get too concerned about fashion choices or things like that but when an organization holds obscene amounts of money and influence like this one does than it would be really nice if it's followers would think about the idiocy of their decision to support it. Like before you make decisions about what a woman has a right to do with her own uterus, wouldn't it seem appropriate to listen to a woman? I know it's often a burden having to discuss serious issues with women since God created them so darn irrational and inferior but it is their body at stake, they should have some say in the matter. And before you start kicking fags out of the ministry you might want to reel in your mascot who's waltzing around looking like a transvestite diva.